there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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