Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
