Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
