peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
