break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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