you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
COCAINE IS GR8
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
