we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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