the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize