he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
