I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My pussy is not your playground.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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