is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
porn star boner night. come get it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
