On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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