I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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