i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this is an emotional support booty call
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
