I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
