she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
