somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.