Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Randomize
Follow @tfln