I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
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It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??