you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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