i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.