Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.