so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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