i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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