i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
