try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
