HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my being single is dangerous.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
