Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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