She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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