he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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