Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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