Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
