So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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