1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
