So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
