suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As shirtless as possible
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
