you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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