So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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