did you get engaged???
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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