Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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