Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
