I think I won the penis lottery.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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