I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
