My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
