What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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