I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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