Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
