can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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