There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
