u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
