Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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