I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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