I just threw up on my dentist
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
