Say something about gay babies.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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