i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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