Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
