so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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