She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
