Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize