It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
