And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize